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[08 Oct 2012|09:26pm]
The interesting part about having a journal is coming back to analyze what you've been through, where you're at and where you're headed. I just spent the past 15 minutes reading mostly private and friends only posts mainly about the emotional rollercoaster I was on throughout my ex husbands affair, attempt to rekindle the marriage and finally, divorce. Yes, nearly 16 months after the affair, my divorce was finally finalized as of Wednesday. As of Wednesday, he became my ex-husband and I couldn't control my ear to ear grin at my hearing when everything was said and done. Lessons learned and strangely, now that its all said and done, I don't have many regrets.
I could go through all the reasons everything happened for a reason, whatever hasn't killed me has made me stronger, blah blah blah, but honestly, I'm at the point where I'm done hurting and I'm over what happened. Finally, I have positive things going on and I don't have the additional stress or baggage.

It has been an odd few months. To say the least, its been an odd yet eventful summer. I spent most of it drinking away the part of the day that I could not sleep away, I went out to bars, partied like it was 1999, moved into my apartment, dated for a short unsucessful time, took some classes, traveled as much as I could possibly travel and worked on base. I made new friends, lost some old ones and just tried to enjoy myself while slowly establishing my life solo.

Then there is school. Its still up in the air, but I'm 1 class short of my Associates in Criminal Justice so at least I'm actively figuring things out. There was a period of time where I was planning to move to southern Arizona to go to an RN program. There are plenty of good schools up here, however, I don't trust myself being around all my friends and Phoenix's night life. Self disipline isn't my strong point so relocating is a high possibility. Theres not all that much in this area for me, and for me to be in one area for 3 years now just seems like too long.
So, after 3 trips to Minot, North Dakota to visit my boyfriend, I submitted an application to Minot State University for their pre-nursing program. Its not until Fall 2013, but if theres no waiting list like there is here, and theres not a whole lot going on in Minot, North Dakota, why not? I'm not sure if I'll be accepted or how well my Associate's credits will transfer (I'm always pessimistic about these things), but I'm willing to see what the outcome is on this.
My boyfriend and I haven't been together all that long so I don't want to get too ahead of myself or too crazy because its a year out, but I can't help but get excited thinking about moving up there and leaving Phoenix again.

Anywho, theres a short update on what has been happening. I'm so glad I can finally come back here in another stage of life and know some negative aspects I once had in my past are in my past.


[15 Mar 2012|06:56am]
I hope everything continues to fall together and I don't have many more set backs before school.


Poland [25 Jan 2010|07:37am]

I meant to put these on here weeks ago but kept putting it off. Anyway, here is the rest of POLANDCollapse )

2 checked the number___(617)324-4061

[23 Jan 2010|10:33pm]

NEW YORK, 2010Collapse )

Earlier this month, I made it home to Boston to spread my father's ashes. We drove to his hometown of Newport, Rhode Island and spread them in the ocean, just as he requested. It was perfect. While I was there, my sister and I had some bonding time and went to NYC for 2 nights.

My husband and I are in the process of moving to Mesa until we deploy. If I'm correct, theres 22 days left until we leave for Afghanistan, won't see home again until October or November. From what I'm told, we'll be working for the Army, doing outside the wire convoy missions 12 miles north of Kabul. As for now, we're just out-processing the base, getting peanut butter shots and more crazy third world country medications then you'd like to imagine.

Thursday I will be meeting Senior Airman Jason Nathan's mother who is visiting my base from Georgia. SrA Nathan was stationed at Lakenheath while deployed to Iraq. He was returning from a mission when his combat patrol was struck by and IED and suffered a fatal wound. While I was at Lakenheath, I had 2 friends who were on his deployment, one who was on the convoy, and they would talk about Nathan all the time. I'm a little nervous to meet her. What do you even say to someone with a loss like that?

Anyway, time for bed. I don't even know why I'm still up.

2 checked the number___(617)324-4061

[19 Sep 2009|03:03pm]
katie motivated me to write in here.

i cant even remember the last time i actually wrote in here, besides some lame-o picture updates. livejournal always reminds me of high school. its not that its immature or ive outgrown blogging, its just that theres so many high-induced dramatic times and so many emotions that i can still associate with this site.

certain parts and aspects of my life are completely different. some chapters have closed, many new beginnings have begun. god, i feel like im talking to the eighteen year old becky barely out of high-school and mum's house.

who knew i would be here, in england, where i am right now? its weird though, how everything fell right into place for me. like, how over the years, mike w. and i finally went our seperate ways. how college didnt quite work out and after years of exploring life, i.e. hitting rock bottom, i reached out to the military and got more than i expected.
i remember my summer as a 19 year old, sitting around, dead broke, living out of my car, jumping on roadtrips/flights to different parts of the country at any given time, snorting more lines from $1 bills than i even want to think about. i dont even really know the point of this entry, to be honest.

anyway, its been 2 years to the day since i left boston, nervous, unexperienced, and a certain need to jump into the unexpected. thank you england, iraq, france, poland, italy, spain, portugal and so on and so forth for giving me the life experiences i think ive been longing for. but, mainly england, for all the people and culture and everything else i got out of here.

its been fun, its been swell, but its time to go, because this chick... well, she has a plane to catch in few hours and is ready for another chapter to close, and a new beginning to begin.


portugal and spain [02 Aug 2009|01:52pm]

A bum's life in PORTUGAL AND SPAINCollapse )

1 checked the number___(617)324-4061

london [02 Aug 2009|01:52pm]

Buckingham Palace.

Lovely London with LaurenCollapse )


ireland and wales [02 Aug 2009|01:50pm]


PS - http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=60741582


[07 Jun 2009|12:13am]

48th Security Forces Christmas Party, December 08

THE LAST 6 MONTHS...Collapse )

Everythings going well. I'll be home in the States in FOUR days. Cannot wait.

4 checked the number___(617)324-4061

[30 Apr 2009|07:25am]
I'm getting married June 19th. Who'd guess?

In September I should be going back to Arizona for my next duty station.
Also, been busy, busy busy. Since December, I've been to Paris, Rome, Barcelona and Amsterdam. Life has been good, I'd say.
3 checked the number___(617)324-4061

home on bad terms [08 Oct 2008|12:02am]

home - this past week [10 Sep 2008|06:30pm]

Read more...Collapse )
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over and over again [14 Aug 2008|07:04pm]
[ mood | numb ]

just like that, he died.
just like that.

just like when i walked into the ER 2 minutes prior he was still alive, moving around.
and there he was, right infront of me, swarmed by doctors trying to save his life.

and the young boy died right infront of my eyes this afternoon.

ive never missed green grass so much.

1 checked the number___(617)324-4061

in memory of tsgt waters [09 Aug 2008|12:15pm]
i took this from my other journal which no longer lets me update

[08 Apr 2008|08:22am]
the captain of my squadron called me to work on my day off. he told me this morning sergeant waters from lakenheath armed up for work and went into our bathroom and took his life. he was on my deployment team but was deemed "incompitent" and after training in nevada, was told he could not deploy.

sgt waters was in for 18 years and had been shit on by everyone, including people under him and the newest of airman. while we were training it seriously broke my heart to see the way this man was treated by everyone. so senior airman nelson (my best friend) and myself would go out of our way to try to be nice to him and talk to him. one day when we were walking to work i saw him walking by himself and asked how he was doing and how he liked lakenheath. he said he had just been there since june and it doesnt matter what he thinks about it, his happiness depends on his wifes and his wife didnt like it. he said before lakenheath they were based in grand forks, north dakota, where she was originally from, so it was hard for her to leave her friends and family and she hadnt adjusted to england. he said he had 2 boys, 15 year old twins who also didnt like lakenheath because its hard moving at that age. but he said hes been married for years and years to his wife and he loves her more than anything.
he was telling me how his wife was really sick and how his boss was great(who is here with me and is my boss now, who i believe plays a large part in the events leading to this because of the way he would treat him). even though this guy treated him like shit ALL the time for everything he said and did, always talking down to him even infront of airman like myself, sgt waters STILL had great things to say about his boss.
i told him its difficult to adjust but everything happens for a reason and maybe this deployment could help him out with money and whatnot, and im sure everything would get better with his family.

even riding around on the bus people would just antagonize him in vegas. id sit behind him and i even told a few people off before, people way above me. and theres a few sergeants here who were mean to him so ive pulled them aside and told them how i felt about sgt waters and how people need to stop shitting on him.

but sgt waters had a tough time at training in vegas and other sergeants pushed so he would not deploy with us. and he didnt. he not only lost this deployment but he also went back to lakenheath and they punished him and took him off flight (the basic police job we do everyday), and ontop of all the shit he took, they gave him a job that a fucking airman usually does. so after sgt waters trained with us and after he was looking forward to this deployment, they took it away from him. and im sure he went back to lakenheath and was belittled by everyone there even worse then he had it before.

so this morning sgt waters got his M4 like he did on every other day, went into the building he has gone into every morning for work, and took his life. this man was the nicest, most polite guy, never had a negative thing to say about anyone, and everyone fucking pushed him to do what he did, he never did anything to one god damned person and because of the people i work with now, sgt waters lost balad and now hes gone.

1 checked the number___(617)324-4061

homeward bound [02 Aug 2008|06:02am]

so, its been just about, forever.
my life burmuda triangled to the rest of the world, and its almost time to pick up where i left off.

my tour of iraq is coming to an end. it wont be long until im back in my bed, in my civilan clothes and back in a somewhat normal life again.

Read more...Collapse )

6 checked the number___(617)324-4061

[25 Mar 2008|05:53pm]
im guessing its easter today by the my size bunny cake being cut up in the DFAC.

i remember a year ago this day. it was raining and i was wearing my favorite blue adidas sweats driving around mesa. my boyfriend and i had gotten into a fight and i took it a little too personal this time, because i made my way down to the superstition mall and walked into the air force recruiter’s office. it could have been any one of those offices, army, navy, coast guard or marines, but the other branches were all on lunch. he asked how soon i wanted to leave, and my response was,

"I’d leave today if I could".

and here i am one year later, on the other side of the world working in iraq with more changes in my life imaginable.

and no, i dont regret a thing.
1 checked the number___(617)324-4061

[04 Jan 2008|07:08am]
turns out my boyfriend didnt get the same deployment i did.
he'll be going to qatar while ill be 40 or so miles north of baghdad.
maybe its better this way?

at the end of this month ill be relieved of duty here in england. for the first time since september, ill be in the states for pre-deployment training. then ill be in kuwait for several weeks and off to iraq i go.

and for some reason, i never seem to mind these sort of things.


[25 Aug 2007|05:51pm]
3 checked the number___(617)324-4061

live and learn [25 Aug 2007|05:41pm]
When you're in the military, you meet some of the coolest people you'll probably ever meet.

That's been figured out so far.

One of the most important things I've realized is the right decision doesn't always mean it's going to be the easiest.
I wish that had been an easier lesson to figure out.


[03 Aug 2007|09:55am]
I'm at combat training right now. Next month I'll be heading off to England, where I'll be stationed for the next 3 years. I hear in January I'll be deploying to Iraq for 6 months, true or not, i dont mind.
3 checked the number___(617)324-4061

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